Great start. i love your descriptions. Your writing has a very “noir” style to it.

While I can’t think of anything to sequel it, I hope someone does.
Also, it seems like your wordiness varies by the sentence. Like, fifth paragraph, the second sentence seems a little weird.

I agree LFP . i would love to see this continue…

I’d love to sequel, but i have a hard time writing with a woman’s voice…

I see no rules against introducing new characters/narrators. ~_^