“Why does every person I know shit on me? Why is it so hard for me to get some respect from my friends and family?” I asked my friend this as we enjoyed a meal. “Because you let them. If you show that you will not tolerate disrespect, then you will see the difference,” he responded calmly, as he took a bite of toast. “How do I do that?”’ I asked, geniunely perplexed. He laughed, and it made me very, very angry. “That, actually,” he said cooly. “Show them that it is unacceptable, then don’t accept it.” Wow, I thought, I can’t wait to use this new found power.

Two months passed and there were great, significant changes. I stopped talking to two friends I had for years. I realized that they found pleasure from my pain. I straightened out what is acceptable and what is not with every person I deal with at all. As I practiced this more, I became better at it. It came to a point where I didn’t have to argue or raise my voice: it is unacceptable. And that’s when easy died and we became cool.