The Home Healthlink team was two men and two women in lab coats, paper booties over their shoes, paper hats holding in stray follicles, and non-latex gloves on their hands. Their leader, a fireplug of a woman with a clipboard, supervised as they went room to room taking swabs and sampling cleaning products.

“You seem to have an exceptionally clean home. Ultraviolet filters on the air handling system, antibacterial soap, hardwood floors, synthetic fabrics for the bedding, linens… approaching clean-room standards. We’ll have to culture our samples, that will take a few days, but we’ll have results by Friday.”

The woman looked at her checklist. “One other thing… your refrigerator.”

“Yes?” the owner inquired. She didn’t like having people poke through her things. She’d spent the entire visit watching to make sure they didn’t take anything, rearranging the things they disturbed. Her son was out with his nanny, avoiding the disruption.

“Your refrigerator’s coils are clean.”

“You expect otherwise?”