Laressa’s beady little brown eyes glared at me through the nicotine-tinted lenses of the stupid pink goggles she was wearing. The woman had a strange fetish for hideously outlandish eye-wear.

“What?” I said, brushing fried Vapor-fish flakes off the front of my shirt.

“You’re a slob, you know that?”

I rolled my eyes and wiped my mouth on on my sleeve, making sure to do so as dramatically as possible.

“If you know some way of eating double-deep fried fish on a stick without making a mess, let me know, princess,” I said.

Laressa grunted and went back to rummaging through the pile of stolen purses at her feet.

“Easy. Don’t buy crap like that in the first place. Stuff is probably full of parasites. I bet they’re building a little fort in your colon as we speak.”

“You only live once,” I said, standing up.

I burped loudly, drawing another dirty look from Laressa.

“What did I do now?” I said.

She just shook her head and sighed.

Good little thief, that girl. But awful prissy if you asked me.