“Ow!” Jesse Mach, motorcycle cop and underwear model, hit the sand. The van had come from nowhere, despite all of them being in the middle of the desert.

Just then, a dweebish man in deck shoes walked up. “Hi, I’m Norman, your vague government agency liaison for today. Need help?”

“I can’t walk!” Jesse breathed heavily and dramatically. “I need rehab!”

Norman scoffed. “We’ll take care of that. When you get better, we’ve got a rad Honda custom bike for you to ride. It was built by the guy who will design the next Enterprise.”

“Is this my own show or something?” asked Jesse. “I test your bike, no one knows my identity, all that?”

Norman nodded. “The bike goes 300 miles an hour, but camera work makes it look like you’re only doing 70.”

Jesse furrowed, still breathing dramatically. “Who’s doing the theme music?”

“Tangerine Dream. You’ve never heard ‘em.”

Again Jesse furrowed. “This sounds a lot like Airwolf and Knight Rider.”

Again Norman scoffed. “Eh, we’ll get at least a season.”