Speakin a ghosts, I remembers a time back when I wasa yungun in Lampshade Alabamee, ma Aunt Bulah done up an died inna Kmart isle while readin them greetin cards, laugh’d so hard she jest keeled ov’r.

Well now, some say they still ahear her a laughin in th’ Kmart, scarin off any wouldbe birftday card getters.

I done heard tell them a cards a be flyin all over th’ sto, a whizzin past th’ customers a right n a left, Missus Truman done got herself one them thar paper cuts, and you un knows theys the worse kinda cuts, well septin for th’ time Clem done cut off his own leg wit a buzz saw back in 64.

Anyways I digress, Aunt Bulah wassa huanting th’ local BigK until Momma and her sista Ruby needed get cuzin Alma Fae a card fer her 100th birfday.

Momma n Aunt Ruby a saw them a cards hurling round the isle like flyin saucers, so they yells, “Bulah, you better git right this here minute girl, a fore we tan your hide ya hear?”

Noone ne’r did see no flyin cards at th’ BigK agin.