The kid hopped up on Santa’s lap with a joyous grin plastered on his face. He didnt waste any time and immediatley started off on a near endless list of presents.

“Woa! Hold up there dude!” the Santa blurted out to the kid’s surprise” Do you really think I care about all that jazz? Huh? DO YOU ?!?!”

The kid, needless to say, is scared out of his wits and nearly wets his pants. The Santa gives a maniacle chuckle and shot puts the kid over the flimsy plastic fence.

“Next!” He shouts with obvious pleasure.

The only one who steps forward is a tall creepy gentleman from the back. The man glides up to Santa and sits down revertley on his lap.

The Santa, needless to say, is scared out of his wits and nearly wets his pants.

“Big red man hiding behvind dat awvful vig,” the man begins in an Eastern European accent,” I vuld deisre uv you vone of dose Magic Bullets that the creepy man sells on t.v. Do not be telling other vampires,dho, Im still not letting vem know Im being vegan, ya?”