Ficlets

The Superhero Obituaries

Philadelphia, PA – Davey Daniels, alter-ego of the 70’s vigilante, Captain Wreckless, died in his home on Thursday, a spokesman said. He was thought to be 55 years old.

“He died peacefully at 8:00 a.m.,” said Lady Laserfingers, his former girlfriend and teammate in the (now disbanded) League of Vigilantes. His death appeared to be due to “complications after a lifetime of drinking gasoline and motor oil.”

Captain Wreckless was renown for bringing down Philadelphia’s most notorious convenience store robbers, The Wawa Seven. He was often criticized for running over criminals with his Camaro while intoxicated. Captain Wreckless called it his “super power”.

Daniels is survived by his wife, Mrs. Curling Iron; his son, Captain Whiskey Dick; his brother, Mr. Donkey Punch; and his dog, Little Bit.

Memorial services will be held behind the family’s mobile home. Daniels requested that his ashes be sprinkled on a meatball hoagie from Wawa.

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