As Sam was about to knock on Amy’s front door, he noticed through the open curtains his past self sitting on the couch with Amy. “Of course,” Sam thought. “Here’s where I tell her we should see other people.” Sam hadn’t really wanted to see other people, but it wasn’t really his choice.

Hoping to stop himself from making a huge mistake, Sam pulled out his phone and dialed his own number, wondering if the call would qualify as mobile-to-mobile and on what month’s bill the call would appear.

“I thought I told you to stay away from her?” said a voice behind Sam, causing him to drop his phone. “You stupid or somethin’?”

Sam’s stomach tightened as he turned to face his worst nightmare: Amy’s older brother Todd.

“Remember the sandbag”, Sam thought as he looked skyward, recalling a trick he had seen in Bill and Ted’s Bogus Journey. Nothing happened.

A swift punch to the gut followed by a size 14 cowboy boot to the ribs confirmed what Sam had feared: not everything you see in a Keanu Reeves film is real.