I can’t remember when I started feeling this way. I think it has come and gone, come and gone throughout my life but I can’t be certain. I know that at times in my adult life the feeling has been so powerful that it’s all I can do to suppress a scream; sometimes one of joy and others one of helpless frustration.

You’re probably asking yourself “Should I keep reading? Is this person losing it and about to tell me something I don’t really want to know?”

It’s nothing like that.

I am destined for something wonderful!

Call it anticipation, hope. I don’t know what it is but it’s with me always; sometime more strongly than others but always there. It seems as if something special is just around the corner; just out of my reach.

What could it be? How can I know? Will it ever really happen?

Will I go mad!?