inside out crazy
“I don’t think I ever really got it…. being crazy, maybe it was more than just a hiccup.”
She drew a map, traced it with saliva ink on the heavy oak table. “I’m leaving traces of myself”, she thought, “a topographical road map to me. They will know who I am through the study of my DNA . I am here. I am everywhere. They breathe me in, particles of me. I will be found within them and they will rejoice in me. These people will become my disciples.”
“I was gone…...it wasn’t me, but I was there too. You know? I can’t explain it. It wasn’t an “out of body experience”. I think I was inside out.”
She was calmed when she looked up at the two pot lights in the ceiling. Dr.Philps and Dr.Arexo they were watching her through the lights, benevolent, and she was safe with them. She was safe. They would make her right.
“I learned to be controlled, immersed myself in ‘safe’ emotion. Misery. Self preservation, that’s what it was. But really, I ended up getting pickled in that brine.”