If there was one thing I hated, it was being disrupted during a nap. It was a well known fact that waking me up from one of any duration meant a death sentence. I had seen the bastard who did it, a flashing blur of a face, hiding behind a window. Really brave…

I yanked at the safety orange piece of malicious rubber. It was suctioned to my face, and left a ridiculous circular dent on my head. There was hell to pay.

Disregarding any social order known to suburbia, I stormed across the street, up the lawn, climbed the steps, rang the doorbell and waited impatiently. A frail looking woman in a pink cardigan answered the door.

“No thank you, we don’t practice Sadism here,” she said cheerily, slowly closing the door.

“Don’t you mean Satanism?” I said curiously.

“Yes, well…bye now,” she said with a cheery wave.

“Hey!” I shouted. She pulled the door open a crack and stuck her head out.

“Do you have children by any chance?” I said holding up the hideous rubber dart. She smiled cheerfully.