1. Crack open your briefcase or handbag, peer Inside and ask “Got enough air in there?”

2. Stand silent and motionless in the corner facing
the wall without getting off.

3. When arriving at your floor, grunt and strain to yank the doors open, then act as if you’re embarrassed when they open themselves.

4. Greet everyone with a warm handshake and ask him or
her to call you Mr. Brightside.

5. Meow occasionally.

6. Stare at another passenger for a while. Then announce in horror: “You’re one of THEM ” – and back away slowly.

7. Say -DING at each floor.

8. Make explosion noises when anyone presses a button.

10. Stare, evily grinning at another passenger for a while,
then announce: “I have new socks on.”

11. When the elevator is silent, look around and ask:
“Is that your beeper?”

12. Order a pizza on the emergency phone.

13. Draw a little square on the floor with chalk and
announce to the other passengers: “This is my personal
space.”