And when you let love in, you let everything else in. You let hatred in too.
I don’t know what it is but when you hold my hand I hate you. It’s because I know what you’ll do. I know what you all do. I know what you’ve already done.
You make things so hard. Because I once loved you and you didn’t love me back. Because now you love me and I can’t love you back. Or won’t. Can’t because I won’t because I never choke on words when I’m around you and my heart doesn’t flutter when I see you. Because when I pass you in the hall, I don’t feel your warmth. No more than I do anybody else’s. Because I am cold and you are cold and everybody is cold. To me.
And I see other people in love. They say they have something special but they have the same thing as everyone else but under a different pseudonym.
We don’t have anything special. We’re just like them and it’s killing me because we can’t live under illusions. I can’t because I am broken because you don’t love until its too late and I may never love again…