I walk to my room, clutching the bottle in my hand. I close and lock the door behind me. No one can see me doing this. A little pain now would be nothing compared to what i have endured. So why am I so nervous? I take a look at my room one last time. This would be the last time I would ever see it. Before I can change my mind, I hold the bottle over my head with a shaky hand,and pour the little white tablets into my mouth.Then swallow.Hard.