Letters to Amberly: Greetings From Graceland

Dear Amberly,

You were right. I should overcome my fear of flying. But taking a roadtrip was all your idea and now I can officially blame all of my blatant misery on you. Thank you Amberly for suggesting taking a southern route, I am by far sweating my face off. Next time you see my horribly melted features, blame yourself.

On the other hand, I now have many terribly amusing and embarrassing stories to share, and a new inspiration for a novel. But don’t expect to get any of the profits. Consider it a favor, Amberly.

And do tell your hideous crone of a mother to shove herself off a cliff for sending that letter to my uncle. I hope birds pluck out her liver for eternity among the blazing fires of hell. Its the least she deserves.

I shall send you a postcard from Graceland as promised so thank you for the kitschy detour I have to endure now. No, I will not send a picture of me next to Elvis imposters.

Sincerely yours,

P.S. I will of course take pictures of aforementioned imposters.

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