Dear Amberly,

I am in the land of golden sidewalks and oranges…is that what they call it, or is it sunshine? No, wait, that’s Florida right? Oh, you know I’m terrible at this name game.

Just so you know, I detest where I’m staying. Its too posh, too ritzy, too…my uncle. I know that makes you laugh. Happy that I am miserable in valet parking and sofas without holes in them. Yes, well, I’m going to downgrade.

My friend Matt has offered me a position of roomate status at his flat, and I have accepted. Uncle is quite displeased, but who really cares what he thinks, right?

Please feel free to send letters, dazzle me with your terrible wit and ridiculous humor. Tell me your vile stories of boring days on the beach with Alec, or how your mother’s new botox injections went awry. (Oh, how I wish…)

Don’t try and flatter me Amberly, I know deep down, you are a heartless croon, destined to make me more miserable.

But don’t forget to write.

Best wishes,

Kingsley