The fire elemental watched as the little poodle jumped up and bit down hard on his master’s crotch. Ted the Off-White screamed in pain and crumpled to the ground. The fire elemental started to assist his master, but was distracted by a terrible roar from outside.

“I can handle myself, ” Ted the Off-White cried as he struggled to pull Montelban the poodle from his crotch, “Investigate that noise.”

The fire elemental flew up and disappeared into the ceiling.

Ted the Off-White finally pulled the dog loose and was about to throw it when he noticed The Insane Knight standing over him, grinning his uncomfortable grin. He could feel the tip of the Imaginary Sword touching his neck.

“I want to know who I was. I want to know why you stole my friend’s head. I want to know what you want from me, and I want to know why you won’t clean yourself up. You look and smell horrible.”

Ted put the growling poodle down and cleared his throat. “First of all,” he said, “Your name is Edward and you are my brother…”