I’ve read several of your stories now, and you use a lot of similes. They’re not as strong as metaphors and you sometimes break the flow of the story by throwing in a simile that may convey the meaning, but has nothing to do with the story. Play with metaphor, and try to keep them consistent with the subject matter. See what happens!

thank you for the criticism and commenting! * happy! *

hahhaahahah evil=]