I don’t have a choice, I thought. I love her so much and I can barely cope with what I did, though she forgave me while it was happening. I allowed jealousy to consume me and destroy what we could have restored and controlled. She wasn’t my best friend because of what I coveted from her, she was my best friend for what she was. I love you like the sister I wish I had. I can barely stand to look at you. You are so strong. You didn’t give in, not even once. You cried, but you maintained dignity. You didn’t give in. You didn’t beg him to stop. You didn’t provoke him. You’re so strong.

I do not have the will to live anymore. I just don’t want to breathe with the knowledge of what I did to you. I took the apple and ate it with Matt. I now have the knowledge, and it is too late to return. I know what I’ll do. I’ll write you two notes, one for the cops, indirectly explaining what happened; the other for you to remember me by. I’ll make sure that you’ll stay out of jail. It’s the least I can do after all this.