The more I thought about what Paul said, the more I realized he was right. He was a good provider, and I did nothing but take. He was happy with that, though, he told me constantly. It gave him joy to make me happy.

But I just couldn’t stop myself. Like a child looking for limits, I kept pushing the envelope. I cheated on Paul left and right, but that wasn’t enough. I had to get caught.

My weakness was uniforms. I only married Paul because he was an airline pilot. I made him wear his uniform on our honeymoon. But any uniform would do. I began ordering books I didn’t want from Amazon just to get the UPS driver in my bed. I set off the alarm and asked the responding policeman to show me how his handcuffs worked. I’d sit in a coffee shop in the mall and fantasize about the rent-a-cop.

In the end, however, it was that stupid bellhop in Cancun on our second honeymoon that did me in. How could I be so shallow? How could I be so superficial?