This is when the shouting started, first from my girlfriend, “Seth, for pity’s sake spit in the man’s hand, and let’s get out of here!”

I tried, “It’s more complicated…”

“Don’t you it’s complicated me…” She kept going for a bit, Oim and his soldiers looking on quite amused.

During a pause Oim joined in, “Fool! Even your woman can see reason. Do it! Fulfill your destiny!”

The two sort of took turns berating me until Steve managed to slip in calmly, “I hate to give them ideas, but why exactly are they not…oh, how to put this? Um, smacking the spit out of you?”

I locked eyes with Oim but explained to Steve, “Cause they know that if I am at all coerced, the spit will be deadly to Oim, rather than granting him the power he seeks.”

“Just as we know,” Oim continued, “that if you spit intending to kill, it will only make me more powerful.”

My girlfriend was just confused, but Steve piped up brightly, “Does this count as a Mexican standoff? I’ve always wanted to be in one.”