I sit on my bed, my head in my hands. I cry for that poor boy. He was only twenty-one, and didn’t deserve what I did. I look in the mirror across from me bed and I can’t help but see a monster. I can’t blame Gen, I can’t blame myself- I don’t know what to do anymore. Emily and Anika are staying over. We all went with them to the hospital to see if James- that was his name- was going to be alright. Then the cops showed up. My place was closest.

I peer through my blinds, watch the dawn like I have a hundred times before. This time, it hurts my eyes. It burns so deep I have to shut them, I pull away from the window hissing. What has happened to me?

I pull my sunglasses on, change my shirt, and walk outside. I try to lose myself in the hallways of my apartment complex. Unfortunately, that’s impossible. My eyes still ache in the sunlight, but there’s not much more I can do.

How could Gen have done this to me? She just left without explaining anything!

How could she leave me so alone?

How could I get so lost?