I lost her. I lost control of her as of December 30th 2007. It was internal from the very engine that I trusted my life’s stories of agonies and defeats. My blogs, my pictures, my video clips and my daily actions are still being plastered all over internet. Someone or Something far more bigger intity than me has taken control of neneng1953@aol.com. They changed the password, they re-routed her emails, and I become the outsider looking thru this window and watching myself being sold to the world beyond my control.
I felt as devastated as when I lost my mother, and my father, and in the interim , my siblings as well.
Losing. Is a word that carries new meaning to me everday. It also has a never ending definitions based on what, and how I have lost. I never respect losing to anyone, or anything that rips “it” off of me forcebly. It hurts, and scarred me for life.