“You know those things over there are pretty much perverts, right?”

“How do you figure?”

“Well, for starters, that one on the left was hitting on you.”

“Uhm, is that why it kept poking me in the ear when we were at the counter?”

“That’s sort of the Z’arlgagh equivalent of a pickup line.”

“Oh God, I think my bagel’s coming back up.”

“So, yeah, that thing thinks you’re cute. Don’t you think that’s a bit weird?”

“What, me being cute?”

“No, I think you are. But, do you think it’s cute?”

“Christ! No way. It’s got too many tentacles.”

“If you had tentacles, you might be into it.”

“Ugh, that’s so creepy.”

“Don’t you think having just two boney arms and grabby fingers might be a bit creepy to them?”

“Hmm, I suppose.”

“And, you know, every one of them volunteered for the expedition from Z’arlgath.”

“So?”

“They’ve all got fetishes for Earthlings. That’s how they do first contact. And, that’s how they get their weirdos offworld.”

“If those are the weirdos, what the hell are the rest of them like?”