“Hello, Tim, it’s me God”. Wow, that was weird, either I’ve just worked out how to think in a different voice or I’m going mad. “You’re not going mad Tim, I really am God.”

Wow, that’s quite impressive. Wait, all this proves is that I can read my own thoughts, and that I’m going mad. “Tim, listen to me, you’re not going mad, I am God. Now I need you to do something for me.”

Crikey, I can’t believe it’s this sudden, sane one day, mad the next. I assume I’m about to order myself to do something awful. I’ll probably go through with it as well, I’ve always been weak willed.

“Tim, just listen to me, there’s a man climbing your apartment block, he’s going to jump from the top. I’d like you to stop him.” Oh no, this is it, I’m going to go up to the roof and no one will be there so I’ll jump off myself, I hate being wrong about something.

“Tim, no don’t kill yourself. Oh fine, have it your way. Go back to bed Tim, this is all a dream. Honestly I don’t know why I bother sometimes. I’ll try the guy upstairs.”