Boring am I? Lionel sniffed. Well, really. Here I am, a double first out of Cambridge being led around by the nose by a pipsqueak of a girl.

He carefully ignored the I am not a pipsqueak comment.

I’ll show her.

It took only a moment for Lionel to find the glint of metal below. Good, a knight. Indigestion for a week, yes, but it would serve the cheeky wench right.

Don’t you dare

Lionel felt his wings pull him up from his dive. Concentrating harder he wrenched his muscles into a long steep swing.

There was an ominous crack inside his stomach.

Oh no! You’ve cracked it!

Lionel didn’t care, furious at the girl, the world and particularly at the lack of virgins, he swept over the knight, swiping the lance from his hands with one claw and tossing him into the air with the other.

He swallowed the man whole, on his return sweep, grinning with satisfaction.

#

Ronald stood, shakily, not too sure where he was but all too aware of the delightful lady beside him.

“Well, Hello.”