I wasn’t sure whether or not to believe him when he said his grandmother had been killed by a balloon that had been twisted into the shape of a cat. He was pretty adamant, but a lot of the folks in here are really certain that they’re telling you the God honest’s truth when they swear the toilet told them to urinate in the corner instead.

I can understand a fear of clowns, though. They’re weird people, even behind the poorly painted face and horribly large red nose. Half of them are drunks, the rest are a wee bit too friendly with the kiddies, all are on the verge of suicide.

Bill here, he used to love clowns. Wanted to be one. But then the carnival came to town and on the last day those carny clowns like to go out and have a good time and Bill…

Well, Bill just happened to be in the way.