We then continued talking for about 40 more minutes, until it was past 3 AM and we were both too tired to type any more. I then comment on James’ page a few times, download a newer version of iTunes and then sign off for the night.
As sit in the dark listening to Avril Lavigne’s song Girlfriend, I start to think about what I’d talked about with Mele; how not having a boyfriend/crush can be a good thing. How it can give you time to learn to like yourself – because neither Mele nor myself like what we see when we look at who we are. I then start to think about my own journey in this area. I’ve only had one boyfriend and we didn’t truly like me…so that didn’t help at all. I then started to think about all the guy friends I seem to have, especially about my “older brotherâ€? Jack and my mini-manager James. I start to think about how I could see myself dating a guy like either of them, but could I ever really date either of them.