Did you know that to kill a zombie for good, you have to chant and offer up the proper rituals? That’s not easy to do when one is stumbling after you trying to get at your brain.

I think I’ve already mentioned that a true zombie, raised by a necromancer like my dad, is a walking, talking, thinking human – just you know, dead. And I’ve mentioned that a zombie raised by an untrained person tends to be of the brain-munching kind.

But the stupid zombie didn’t ask to crawl out of its grave and go looking for yummy human flesh. When people die, they expect to stay that way. So my father tries to lay a stupid zombie back to rest with the proper respect one shows for the dead. They just don’t make it easy for him to do so. It’s hard to prepare the circle, ready the sacrifice and chant the incantations when said zombie is doing its best to eat you.

The only option left is to chop them up into as many pieces as possible. That’s what we had to do the other night when someone raised a cemetery full of stupid zombies.