It was dark, my God, it was dark. As if the sun was forgotten and the moon never existed dark. The guards were snoring. Soon they’d be fleeing, the objects of the Emperor’s scorn. The grave robbers approached the tomb in search of immeasurable treasure.

Inside the cavernous tomb they found strips of linen carefully folded.

“Jesus Christ! He’s not here.”

“Never use the Lord’s name in vain!” the voice of a third visitor boomed. They turned to the mouth of the cave.

“Jesus… Christ…?”

“That’s twice now, Peter” said John. “Stop digging your grave.”

Betraying his ruse, Jesus let out a belly laugh. “Oh my, Peter! You always could make me laugh. I believe you’ve transformed my name into a curse.”

“It’s not funny,” said John.

“Lighten up, John. The sense of humor was always one of my favorite creations.”

“Jesus Christ?” John asked.

“Why are you so surprised? Did you pay attention to any of my teachings?”

Peter and John were shellshocked.

“Oh, well.” Jesus declared, “You’ll get it eventually.”