“I don’t understand zombies.”

“What do you mean, you don’t understand them? What’s not to understand?”

“Well, I mean, there’s no historical or scientific precedent for zombies, just really cheesy movies. The whole idea’s pretty far-fetched: dead bodies coming back to life, stumbling around, trying to bite people and turn them into zombies too. It’s stupid. I just can’t bring myself to actually find them scary.”

“Some things you don’t have to understand to be afraid of.”

“Are you afraid of zombies?”

“A little. We’re talking about dead people, with dead, decaying corpses. Only they’re not really dead, they’re moving. They’re chasing you, and they want to kill you. That’s freaky, man. Any way you look at it, that’s freaky.”

“I guess.”

“All I’m saying is, if you were ever going to become afraid of zombies, now would be a pretty good time.”

“That’s just the problem. When I look at them, I just want to laugh. They look more like guys with bad makeup than zombies.”

“Just shut up and start shooting, okay?”