Ficlets

Prescription For A Pope

Pope Felix VIII had fallen ill. His physicians were clueless as to his ailment.

They used leeches and bled him and drained him of all liquids.

He cried out in pain all night, ” O, the pain, give me something for the pain. I’m not ready to die. Please spare me.”

The doctors drilled holes in his head. Covered his body in oils, skunk blood and even more leeches. Nothing was working. He remained ill. (Worse even).

They put him in a sweat box. Poured cold water over him.
The Popes symptoms worsened. Now he had throat pain, couldn’t swallow any of the pills and concoctions they gave him to drink, such as snake venom, mongoose urine and gator juice. He couldn’t get those down ( fortunately).

Ten days after administering the latest medical science techniques at their disposal, Pope Felix VIII went home to His Lord.
By then he was begging for death.

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