All this while, Mandrake Shog stared at me the way Kathy Bates looked at Jimmy Caan in Misery. Right before she hobbled him with a sledgehammer. What could I say to that?

So this is where we’re at. And to be completely honest, these days I’m finding that the ending Morgenstern originally laid out doesn’t traumatize me the way it used to. Maybe it’s a sign of my aging, maybe it’s a reflection of the times we live in. Of course, I’ll always wax nostalgic about the way my father ended the story, but I also understand now what Morgenstern was really trying to say with his book.

Also, I’ve learned that Buttercup’s Baby: S. Morgenstern’s Glorious Examination of Courage Matched Against the Death of the Heart, the sequel to The Princess Bride makes no sense, unless this book ends the way that it’s supposed to.

So here is the ending, the way Simon Morgenstern saw it. It is what it is.