To: A Funny Thing Happened On The Way To the Funeral…
From: Sebtacular
Date: 27 Mar 2008, 12:02
Subject: A quick Hello!

Body:
Hello, it’s Seb here. I’ve tried calling a couple of times but you haven’t picked up the phone. It’s been during the day though, so I’d imagine you’re probably at work. It’d make sense that you’d have your phone on Silent at work. You do work in a funeral parlour, after all.

I just thought I’d throw a message your way to let you know I’m not a guy. I mean, I am a guy in the sense that I have, y’know, testicles, but I’m not the sort of guy who’s Only After One Thing. I really like you. You’re incredibly cool and fun to talk to on the rare occasions I actually get to, and we share a lot of the same interests. I wouldn’t be half as irritating as I think I’m being if I didn’t think you were worth the effort.

So… y’know. If nothing else, I feel I’ve made a really good friend and I hope I get the chance to see you again. Give me a call, okay?

Take care,
~Seb