Great vignette. The voice in here is killer, the beat almost to the point of poetry. This is the sort of thing that’s best coming from the hip. Good stuff.

Has a definite harshness about it with some great lines and imagery. I felt like you may have gone a step too far into metaphor-land, just cause I got lost a couple of times. But still a very evocative little bit of story.
LoA

Very noir-ish. Some of the metaphors were pitch perfect.
LoA

What does LoA mean?

League of awesomeness. a group dedictated to keeping the standards of ficlets. prequel/sequel/content/comments/stars.