You probably want to know how I managed to get into this mess. Well, forget it. It’s rather embarrassing, and quite frankly, your desires are not high on my list of priorities at present.

A large rock would be nice. I hear that chompers won’t bother with anything that can knock their teeth out. Of course, I’ve also heard that people would pay a fortune for NuReg Swamp Lilies. I’ve also heard that if something sounds too good to be true, it probably is.

I heard that last one from my mother. Should’ve listened.

I haven’t seen the chomper for a while. Maybe it’s given up. I don’t really feel like going to the edge of the hole to look, but I suppose I’ll have to…

Ew.

No, it hasn’t given up. It has instead decided to spit an astonishingly large amount of astoningishly malodorous swamp water into this regretfully not at all astonishingly poorly ventilated hole.

Not to mention poorly drained. If it keeps doing that, I’ll be in real trouble.

It did it again.