On the one hand, it was really really weird having another person living in my gut, especially if that other person was normally a cute girl who I wouldn’t have minded going out with, and who harbored a crush on me. And it was true she hadn’t been entirely honest with me.

But on the other hand, I couldn’t deny that my appetite had been better since having her, and I hadn’t been pained by indigestion or other, ahem, gastro-intestinal disfortitude. And if it was true what she said about the ulcer…

I turned back around. “All right, you can stay, but on conditions.”

“All right?” she said.

“When you’re inside my body, you do what I say, understand? Whether I want you to come out every night, or stay in for a whole year.”

She nodded. “All right.”

“And no more gas, got it?”

“Not even if you learn Morse code?”

“Not even then.”

She sighed. “Well…all right. I accept your conditions.”

For a moment, I could have sworn I heard an old Rolling Stones song. She’s under my thumb—the girl who once had me down…