Well, the meter of the second couplet in the verse is different from the first couplet. It might work better if the meter could be the same all the way through.

I sorta agree w/ R_M, but then again, not all poem’s meters are the same. So if you decide to make them all the same, I would suggest writing a haiku, b/c it’s really easy. (Five syllables, then seven, and so on.) But if you are going to keep it w/ different meters, then I think it’s actually really good.