We curl up behind the bathroom door as the heavy tread of an undead clump…clumps its way past. They have been getting better and better at getting in over the past few weeks.

Bella puts it down to practice, but I think that something more insidious might be taking place. Cradling my SWAT -issue flame thrower, I smooth Bella’s hair down, tell her to stay put and creep out of the bathroom.

I sneak up behind the foul creature ever so carefully, almost choking at the revolting miasma that drifts in its wake. I take aim with my flame thrower, and disengage the safety with a slight “snick”.

What is this? It seems to be reacting to the sound. But zombies never react to slight sounds, they are usually more on the deaf side.

The zombie turns around ever so slowly. My finger tightens on the trigger, but I am interested in this unusual zombie, so it earns itself a stay of execution.

“Oh noes! Mai hoomin naituur still in here man. Srsly!” It says, as I pull the trigger with a smile.