And This Is Why I Don't Date Stupid Asses {Set sentences}

I knew it was a bad idea when he wanted to paint my portrait with mayonnaise. Plus, he wanted to use my good paintbrushes! Can you believe that?
“Why mayonaise?” I asked Madison hesitantly. He looked thoughtful as if actually considering an alternative, but then said, “Well, I didn’t think peanut butter was that great, too sticky, and jelly would just…ugh.” I actually found it amusing.
Since the three weeks Madison and I had been dating, I had learned that he liked to take photographs of roadkill, steal pens, and apparently, he wanted to paint my portratit. With mayonaise.
After thinking about it, I shook my head, “No way.” He made this sad, so-called innocent-looking face. But I stood my ground. “Fine, but then you can’t be my girlfriend!” He told me. He stormed out of the room, forgetting the jar of mayonaise.
I sighed, was I angry? Sad? Now I know that it was relief, Madison was an ass. In fact, he was a freaky ass.
If he ever touches me again, I’ll shoot him.

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