Here I am, 40 years old and not sure how I got here. Funny how life can just carry you like a river if you let it. It is so easy to let others make life changing decisions for us. When you finally wake up, do you stay in the life you have or do you make changes that will change all those around you? If you stay, how do you get the courage to get up in the morning and have a smile on your face? If you choose to leave, how can you look at yourself in the mirror and know you caused all the hurt and destruction around you? Is there a middle ground somewhere? I hope so because that is the road I have decided to take. I will work on myself and not hurt the people that love me and that I truly love too. I am only afraid someday in the future I will be filled with regret for not following my dreams. Is it enough to see the smiles on those around me? I hope so.