This.
Is.
AWESOME !
I love it, seriously, it made me so sad, it is really descriptive and eloquent. Good job!

Very descriptive and for the most part effective. You may have overshot the mark just a tad on that first sentence though.
LoA

beautiful simply beautiful
it has a poetic feel to it.
.
i noticed that you wrote that. she let it full? up her lungs. just so you know

oops, thanks for pointing that out