The nervous fraternity pledge downed half a bottle of vodka before the first party of the year even started. By the time the party was jumpin’ jumpin’ he was wicked drunk.

I like big butts and I can not lie
You other brothers can’t deny
That when a girl walks in with an itty bitty waist
And a round thing in your face
You get sprung.

“I love this song,” Greg, an older brother, confided in the pledge. “I’m gonna hit the dance floor. Watch my Jungle Juice, pledge. Don’t drink it unless you want your ass kicked. It’s practically straight Everclear, my own personal mix.”

Greg walked away. Without thinking twice, the pledge downed the cup.

The world started spinning. He staggered to the bathroom and passed out, pants and underwear around his ankles.

He woke up covered in urine and vomit as two brothers carried him into a room. They didn’t even bother pulling his pants back up.

Sorority girls giggled, pointing at his exposed package. He cringed.

It was the most embarrassing moment of his life.