“Rehabilitation officer? What’s rehabilitation?”

“Rehabilitation is the process of disengaging you with everything,” Goethe explained. “Your will. Your survival instinct – you have a real head start there. Thoughts. Identity. Guilt. Fear. You see, only the most enlightened attempt suicide. It’s the only way to escape reincarnation.”

“Slow down! I’m a Christian. I don’t believe any of this.”

“Oh, I see. Christians are always the toughest to convince. Surprisingly, we get plenty of ‘em here in Purgatory.”

“The Catholics were right?”

“Spoken like a true Protestant, but there’s no point in explaining that Catholics are Christians because none of it matters. That’s what you need to understand. It’s not a matter of being right or wrong. It’s a matter of letting go and embracing reality.”

“What’s reality?”

“I’m glad you asked that. Let’s see. Where do I begin?” A copy of Reality for Dummies popped out of thin air. “Let’s see, the fundamental law of the universe is disestablishment: you simply must let go.”