“All right, class,” the teacher said to his grade 10 students. “Listen up. We have with us Officer Shane McTaggert, and he’s going to talk to you about camping safety. Officer McTaggert.”

“Thank you, Mr. West.” The slightly hefty police officer stood at the front of the class, smiling. “Now, then, how many of you are expecting to go camping this summer with their friends, no adult supervision.” Just over half the class raised their hands.

“Okay, this talk is aimed mostly at you guys and gals.”

“Excuse me, sir,” a boy in the front interrupted. “Is this a talk about underage drinking?”

“No, son,” McTaggert chuckled. “No, today, I’ll be talking to you about how to survive an attack by…”

“Bears.” The same young man. “We had this discussion last week with a park ranger.”

“Yeah, sure, rangers can protect you from bears and cougars and such. But I’m talking about something really dangerous.

“Today, I’ll teach you how to survive an attack by undead, hockey-mask-wearing, machete-wielding serial killers.”