Here we are in the future and the boys are growing up faster than we can pencil mark the doorframe of their bedroom with the vertical progress they are making.

After all these years, I wonder to myself, can it be as bad as it was back then? I am informed that the Tween will be going to the electronics and the Teen will be going to the Sporting goods. So here, is where I make a Mom Stand. “No,” I inform them right back, “You will be staying with me.”

Shoulders slump and eyes roll, which is to be expected with Teen and Tween, so I ignore them and I tell them to keep up. With list in hand we set out, manuevering through the crowd.

We gather our groceries and are almost ready to checkout, when I notice that I have completely missed the brewing turmoil behind me.

In the middle of the aisle is a standoff. Teen, a head taller, looks down on redfaced Tween. Shoppers have stopped to watch as I grab both by the arm.

Through gritted teeth, “Checkout, now.” No chili, no bread, not even frozen pizza.