Ooh, a nice job setting our boy in a peaceful, clean environment…then ripping him back to the brutal reality with which he is more accustomed. The last sentence in paragraph three was a bit off, I thought.
Great job of putting some adolescent fantasies into the story. Still get the feeling this story would have been better if our man character was a girl. LoA
THX 0477
PyroPunk 51 (PPP LoA)