Janie, Janie (This is Just to Say)
She flipped the tape over to the B-side. There was a static hiccup, then:
This is just to say…
Well. I guess I don’t really know what this is just to say. (Nervous laughter.)
Janie, you were always the one with the words, really. You knew how to say the things that were so hard to feel, never mind describe. I just… I feel like I let you down, Janie. (Choking up.) But it’s so much more than that, I guess.
I don’t know. I don’t know anymore.
What I do know is that I miss you. I miss the way you could fill up a room with your personality. I miss the sound of your voice. Almost like music, you know?
I miss you. I miss your paint and your poems. But mostly I just miss you.
I guess I’m sorry that it has to be this way. If you’re listening to this, I’m already dead. If you’re listening to this, Janie, you have to know that this wasn’t your fault. None of this was your fault.
This is just to say I’m sorry.
Goodbye, Janie. I love you.