Not much of an apology ["this is just to say" challenge]

This is just to say that I’m sorry if I forget you. I’m sorry if I can put away your dusty pictures and old letters in a box, and not know when and if I’ll ever take them out again.

I’m sorry that you didn’t turn out to be what you wanted or expected, or what we wanted and expected you to be. We all had our idealistic visions of the future, our happy hopes in being a family. But one bad mistake from you tore all that way in just one moment. You knew there would never be any coming back from that.

You’ll never know what we became. We’re all still so close, but you’re missing out now. You cut your own face from the portrait. And when you left, you took a piece of all of us with you. It hurt more than anything. Especially for mom. Can you blame us for wanting to move on?

So I’m sorry if I can barely remember your voice, and that your grave has become lonely. I’m sorry that every time I picture you now, all I see is your sad, imploring face. It’s like looking at you from the window of a one-way train.

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